Contributions to the tribute of Carolyn Schreiner Calder

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Mary Baird uploaded photo(s)

Saturday, April 6, 2024

I miss the gentle calm presence of my Cousin Carolyn so much, grateful for our several in person and regular zoom connections in recent years. I was always inspired by her artwork reflecting her deep love of Nature. I’ll always remember Carolyn for her resilience and courage during her own journeys with cancer while also comforting and supporting her loved ones - her father “Uncle Sam” alone in Darien during his final years, my Sister Barb and me during our Brother’s cancer & death (2021), and then lovingly caring for her dear Scott who passed not long before she did. Carolyn’s quiet sense of humor, her kindness, her true essence will live on in my memory. Mary Schreiner Baird

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Penelope Fox Parkin uploaded photo(s)

Friday, April 5, 2024

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CAROLYN SCHREINER CALDER Carolyn was my lifelong friend since we first met in 8th grade at Mather Jr. High in 1964. Music was the connective tissue between us, right from the beginning, primarily The Beatles, The Byrds, and Buffalo Springfield. Our friendship is meaningless without the soundtrack: The Animals, The Blues Project, Simon and Garfunkel, Hendrix, Cream, Joni Mitchell, the Moody Blues, Jackson Browne, Yes, the Allman Brothers, Earth, Wind and Fire. In my mind there lives this shimmering scene: when we first dropped the needle on the Sargent Pepper LP in her bedroom on the last day of 10th grade. When David Crosby died last January, we called each other and wept. We spent the night at each other’s homes almost every weekend, and know each other’s families intimately. We shared our first apartment in Manhattan in 1975, in the Yorkville neighborhood, which was mostly populated by old German and Polish ladies pushing their grocery carts. We walked to the Met or the Guggenheim or the Whitney on the weekends. She taught me how to look deeply into a painting while not uttering a word. There’s a huge J. M. W. Turner at the Met which we have stared at in complete silence for long periods of time. She taught me there are more shades of green than any other color, and what a miracle it is that Cezanne could paint so many varieties of green in one single canvas. She taught me about black and white photography, her Nikon SLR camera. She loved to sketch and paint, especially “en plein air” and took classes in Provincetown, Massachusetts with her sister Bev (DHS class of ’67) for many summers. She worked in oils, acrylics, and pastels, yet her talent shone through most clearly in her watercolors. I moved to L.A. in 1978; we stayed in touch and she visited us frequently. When we moved back East in 1990, Carolyn became “Auntie” to my children. She was my stalwart support during a difficult divorce, and the death of my son. We offered each other compassion and understanding as we experienced the health challenges and deaths of our parents, and of her husband Scott, who died last May. What is the essence of a human being? Is it their accomplishments, their adventures, their families? Yes, that’s part of who they are, but I believe that how that person makes you feel when you are in their presence is their gift to the world. And Carolyn’s gift was her sensitivity, her artists’ eye, her passion for music, her loyalty, her caring, her ability to forgive. Everyone should have a true and loving friend like Carolyn. “Nobody sees a flower really; it is so small. We haven’t the time, And to see takes time – like to have a friend takes time.”  Georgia O’Keefe

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Martie Dreisbach posted a condolence

Friday, April 5, 2024

I am a first cousin. My dad, Bryson Schreiner was Carolyn dad older brother. He always looked forward to Sam lengthy typed birthday letter. I, in turn, always looked forward to Carolyn chosen artwork, shared at Christmas. I put Christmas photo in an album. But I have saved her art work there. I have one of boats in the water hanging beside my desk. I looked forward to the rare times our family of 6 descended on Darien for a coastal boating family reunion vacation. Carolyn and Sally (my sister born the same year as Carolyn) and Beverly and I ( born a month apart next door in Mt. Lebanon) were sent to an old army tent in the lower field. I learned the hard way not to touch the walls of a tent when raining. It breaks the seal and you will get wet. We would bring a supply of penny candy for our tenting time. The parents would dine on lobsters and offer us the legs to suck on. Those visits were special. When Grandma Schreiner died, the Darien Schreiner s came back to Pittsburgh. They stayed at 42 St Clair...a lovely stone castle home with a round door turreted entrance. On the way there the car top carrier blew open scattering belongs along the roadside...like curlers. Grandma Schreiner was laid out at home on a couch in the living room under a fluffy blue quilt. She looked like she was asleep. Carolyn mom Dorie was startled each morning when she came down stairs. Times have changed since Scott and Carolyn homegoings. Kudos to Carolyn who was there to give care to her dad in Darien and Scott through the ups and downs of married life. She was a faithful worker bringing order to the office where she worked. She maintained her creativity and artistry with her sister and her drawing and painting. In this last season of illness we stayed in touch with catch up calls. I loved her laugh. On our last call before Christmas she told me about a CD of Bleecker St music. It was out of sales but I found one used. It was my husband's favorite gift this Christmas. Carolyn was a gift to many. She will be missed. Love and prayers...cousin Martie Schreiner Dreisbach

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Penelope Fox Parkin Posted Apr 5, 2024 at 11:00 AM

Martie, thank you for your lovely remembrance of my dear, dear friend Carolyn. That CD of Bleecker Street, issued in the 90s, was a favorite of ours. When we were 15 years old we'd go to the Village and shop for clothes there. We were too young to get into the Cafe Wha? Music, as stated in my post, was the soundtrack of our friendship, and not just in high-school and college. We went dancing together during the disco craze in the 70s when we lived in Yorkville.

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Martie Schreiner Dreisbach posted a condolence

Friday, April 5, 2024

prayers...cousin

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Phil Gunyon uploaded photo(s)

Monday, March 18, 2024

Five years ago, Carolyn’s husband Scott and Phil Gunyon discovered that they had both been 7-year old boys together on the “Athenia” when she was torpedoed at the start of WW2. Friendship ensued, with many gestures to each other. One of these included the gift of a large stuffed moose from Scott to Phil that has since had a place in our living room. The moose was named Henderson. Phil had photographed his arrival in late 2020 and sure enough, a painting of the event arrived from Carolyn in 2022, soon after we met she and Scott during a trip to Halifax, Nova Scotia. This photo shows Henderson gazing at Carolyn’s painting, that has since been augmented by a photo of Scott himself on the wall nearby. This memorial to Carolyn and Scott will remain here and will be a daily reminder of our friendship with a very special couple in our lives. Eva and Phil Gunyon

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Kim Calder uploaded photo(s)

Monday, March 11, 2024

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Kim Calder Posted Mar 11, 2024 at 2:40 PM

Just one of many, many happy memories of downtime with Dad and Carolyn. I believe Bev took this pic of us picnicing just outside their home in Peter Cooper Village, right along the East River in NYC.

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Beverly uploaded photo(s)

Thursday, March 7, 2024

Carolyn Schreiner Calder As recounted by Beverly Schreiner Carroll I want to start this remembrance of my sister with the time she saved me from the ghost. For many summers Carolyn and I would go on our yearly escape from our jobs, beloved husbands and any form of responsibility. We would go to the historic Art Colony of Provincetown. We stayed in old, weathered quest houses. Painted every day, ate lots of lobster and laughed a lot. When we checked into one of these quest houses the owner told us that this coastal town had a reputation for ghosts that had attracted writers from all over. One book had included recorded events happening in that very guesthouse. That first night we each went to bed in separate but connected, bedrooms. Later on, and sound asleep, I woke up to the persistent yanking of the sheets around my feet. I could see nothing. But the yanking of my sheets intensified. I tried to scream but could manage only harmless weak whimpers…..which in no way matched my terror! It was then that the light switch by the door was turned on and Carolyn entered. She saw my face, rolled her eyes and laughed. I had never been so happy to see this vibrant, practical soul who was my sister and great friend….the one who always recorded our favorite TV shows on a mysterious VCR that nobody else could understand, the one who was asked to set up the first computer system for the architectural firm she was working for, the one who we all asked to help us with our tax returns. This was my sister, who still laughing, said “I got the big bed in my room, get in it with me and go back to sleep!” And sleep I did---with her in the safety of that big bed for the rest of the week. However it was Carolyn’s quiet, private side that I most admired. Another summer, after a sizzling, hot drive from New York, we stayed in a another guest house right over the water. Opening my eyes the next morning at 6:00am I was surprised to see my sister’s bed empty and no sign of her. Looking out the open door I saw her--out on the old wooden deck--overlooking the harbor from our room. She was as still and quiet as the high tide waterline on the sand. The sun was not yet up as she sat there painting the fog grey, silent scene in front of her. I envied her. Yesterday she had left her demanding job in the city, driven us here and now was out painting elusive, and difficult variations of grey before breakfast. It made me smile from under my covers. During childhood she had spent many happy hours day-dreaming with Bimbergooner, a silent, make-believe friend. Seeing her out on that deck, surrounded by her watercolor supplies, looking into that early morning, so quiet … the harbor so still, quiet like the soundtrack of dreams. This quiet reminded me of a quote by Eckhart Tolle: “All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place no-mind, from inner stillness. When Tolle publically speaks he often pauses----resting briefly in that comfort of no-mind. When I first saw Tolle do this I knew what he was doing. My beloved sister also did this her entire life. Carolyn would spend hours painting three broken seashells or a singular rock in silence. In these small paintings you can sense a kind of powerful insight capable of reflecting your own essence back to you in an unusual and intimate way. Carolyn’s last four years were spent navigating two types of cancer. Her surrender and acceptance of her condition made her my teacher. Watching her confront her own mortality with such a familiar, peaceful, calm made me realize, after all these years who Bimbergooner truly must have been---the state of her own Being.

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Penelope Fox Parkin Posted Apr 5, 2024 at 11:05 AM

Thank you, Bev, for your meaningful remembrances of your darling sister. I loved her to pieces, throughout the many challenges in almost 60 years of our friendship. I forever admire her passion for painting and drawing, but also her ability to laugh at our many mishaps and foibles. We both loved movies and discussed them ad infinitum. We'd go every year to the Oscar nominated shorts at the Film Forum. How many museum visits? Too many to count!

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The family of Carolyn Schreiner Calder uploaded a photo

Monday, March 4, 2024

2119 BOSTON POST RD, DARIEN, CT

Carolyn Schreiner Calder

1951 - 2024

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